Sasquatch: Actual Life Meetings With Fabled Anthropoid Men
by Jet556
Summary: Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yowie, Yeti... The concept that disgusting being-anthropoids hide in the godforsaken greenwoods and big alp dells of the earth is an amaranthine and accepted one. Barely a week goes by without some account of a fresh meeting.
1. Border Accounts

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 **Border Accounts**

Sitting at a table, Rick Finlayson shuffled a deck of cards as he prepared to play solitaire. As his son Ken and his girlfriend Heidi chatted elsewhere in the house, Rick hit recording on a cassette recorder. Yes, a cassette recorder. Then taking the microphone with his left hand he played solitaire with his right and began to talk into the microphone.

"The Sasquatch, or Bigfoot, hit the earth's headlines in 1958 when the affiliates of a assembly company assembling a avenue through the Bluff Creek belt of godforsaken northern California were thrown into a alarm where their worksite was visited by evasive animals that bowled their apparatuses and left spoor that seemed being bar their Brobdingnagian area. The city broadsheet denominated the camouflaged animal 'Bigfoot.'" Rick scratched his cheek and then resumed speaking. "I was seventeen years old then and I remember it perfectly. One of the artisans, Jerry Crew, decant gypsum into one of the spoor, thereby bearing a authoritative article of affirmation. The enlargement of the spoor casting, coupled with the expressive appellation Bigfoot, catapulted the account out of the city broadcasting and on to the nationwide, and later the global, affairs. But that meeting was exceeding far from being the first time that the Sasquatch or Bigfoot had been discovered by beings. While some analyzers were concentrated on the spoor around Bluff Creek and abroad, I was looking into the past. My reasoning was that the mysterious maker of the spoor must have been previously encountered if it had been a real creature. I was right. The American Indians I interviewed told me of the creature under different names: The Iroquois called it the Wendigo or the Wittiko, the Micmac called it the Chenoo and the Penobscott used the appellation Kiwakwe. European foklorists used the general term 'Wendigo'. The stories were treated as little more than fairy tales. I suppose they still are treated as such. The farther into the woods you go the stories get more fantastic. You start with tales of a hairy creatures shaped like men who live in the woods and are active during the night. The Ojibway regard it as a messenger of the gods with the appearance of one being regarded as a bad omen, a sign of supernatural trouble that was approaching. The name Sasquatch comes from J. W. Burns who Anglicized the word sesqec. Originally more used in Canada, Sasquatch has started to feature more use here in the United States over the tabloid sounding Bigfoot. Burns did not take the stories seriously until he realized that the creatures were all too real. A speaker once said there are no Sasquatch but the local chief said that he was wrong with white man and Indian alike having seen them. That is all for today." Rick turned off the recorder and then focused solely on his game of solitaire.

Standing from the top of the stairs, Ken and Heidi looked down on Rick. What was this he was doing now? Why was he recording this information on a tape cassette?


	2. Bigfoot Appeared

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 **Bigfoot Appeared**

The following day, Rick was once more preparing a recording. The cassette recorder was there and his notes converted to brail were they as well. Then suddenly there came a knocking at the door.

"Ken, can you get that?" asked Rick. "Son? Oh… Right… 'Love's Labours Lost.'" He then called for his wife to see if she would get the door for her blind and elderly husband. "Hecate? My love? Can you get that?"

"No! Let me sleep!" Came a voice from upstairs. If it were to be called a woman's voice, it would take a great stretch to call it a woman's voice.

Rick sighed and walked to the door. He didn't need his walking stick, he knew the way perfectly. Opening the door, he saw at first a purple blur. He then continued looking and saw that the blur was wearing the colors of a baton twirler. "Hello, Ms. Fowler. How may I help you?"

Theresa gave a smile, not that Rick could see it. He was blind and could only see blurs really and the smile didn't really show up.

"Mr. Finlayson… Randy told me about how you helped turn him back to human and I'd like to say thank you." Said Theresa.

"He didn't tell you how he was turned back?"

"He kept that bit to himself." Replied Theresa.

It was Rick's turn to smile. "Good."

"Also, one more thing."

"Yes, Ms. Fowler?"

"May I have a band aid? I tripped and scraped my hand back."

Rick nodded. "Come on in." He walked to the kitchen and got a band aid from the drawer. He handed it to Theresa. "Here you go."

"Are you doing something in the living room?" asked Theresa

"Recording some memories."

"May I listen?"

"If you wish." Rick walked back into the living room and sat down. He held up the microphone and began recording. "The events of 1958 left everyone in either excitement or skepticism. This was when Bigfoot appeared and let me tell you it is something that I remember as clearly as if it were yesterday!"

Theresa had taken a seat on the couch. She was completely enraptured by the whole thing even if it was just the beginning. How someone so quiet such as Ken could have such a talkative father as Rick was beyond her.


	3. Capturing a Sasquatch

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 **Capturing a Sasquatch**

Rick once more sat in his living room, recording his memoirs. He was not alone this time. His son-in-law Cerdic Warburton and Cerdic's best friend since kindergarten Mort Weinerman were visiting. Rick's son Ken was dating or engaged to Mort's daughter Heidi, it was all rather complicated they all gave up trying to figure out what exactly it was. Upon discovering that Cerdic's wife Ulrica was Rick's daughter and thus Ken's half-sister, Heidi said to Cerdic's infant daughter "Come to Aunt Heidi" or something along those lines. It is unknown if the words were meant to be taken figuratively or literally since as Ken's girlfriend when Sarah got older she'd probably be calling Heidi "Aunt Heidi" whether or not the two were married so everyone just ended up eventually shrugging the whole thing off. In addition, Mort worried about Rick due to Rick both being past seventy and blind so like Cerdic, occasional visits from Mort were common.

"The short cine talkie captured by Roger Patterson on October 20th of 1967 in the Bluff Creek belt of Northern California abides the most consequential distinct piece of affirmation for the actuality of a actual perpendicular-perambulating hominid anthropoid that was inhabiting feral in North America. Some might allege that the aggregate affirmation of spoor, sightings and other affirmation is even more cogent, but the Patterson movie remains one of the most acclaimed and arguable 'attestation' of the actuality of cryptids." Rick picked up a glass of water and took a drink. He then put it on the table.

"But, Rick…" said Mort. "Patterson and Bob Gimlin… Were you actually there with them?"

"I was." Stated Rick. "I'm always forgotten but yet I was there with them. Bernard Heuvelmans called it a suited human but it wasn't. With my binoculars I could see the eyes blink when it looked at me. No ape suit could do that!"

"The film series 'Planet of the Apes' had some rather convincing make-up." Suggested Cerdic. "Suppose it was something like that."

"I've lived a long and very interesting life, Cerdic." Stated Rick. "I was working as an extra on the first movie and let me tell you, the make-up looked nothing like the face I saw. Compared to what I saw, the make-up in the movie looked like it came from something Ed Wood would have made!"

"So, it was real then?" asked Mort.

"I am seventy-one years old and have never told a lie in my life!" exclaimed Rick. "Of course it was real!"


	4. Analyzing the Affirmation

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 **Analyzing the Affirmation**

Seventy-one years old. Rick had been there for many things. Thus as he had an audience consisting of his grandson Niall and his friends Randy and Theresa, he continued on with recording his memoirs.

"The fact that no Sasquatch body has ever been discovered has brought about the false logic that it does not exist." Began Rick. "Sasquatch is an ape-man. Ape and man combined. Does that suggest that may have in their minds the idea of burying their dead and actually doing it? The Neanderthal buried their dead and there is evidence that suggest that Homo erectus did as well!"

Niall sniggered. Randy could only look at Niall and say: "Really?"

"And there is an alternative explanation! It is believed that an ill Sasquatch would find a place safe from predators! Thus if its condition worsened instead of improving it would die and if predators can't even find the body then how can we?"

Theresa nodded in agreement. "A good point!"

"And here is yes a third possibility! If a Sasquatch were to die in the open why do we remove carrion eaters from the equation? The body would be picked clean in hours! As for the finding of bones the Pacific seaboard's soil is naturally acidic meaning the bones wouldn't be there for long. It is hardly surprising that a body hasn't been found. What is surprising are so many people who are stupid enough to think one can be! Moving on to the pulling of the trigger those who see a Sasquatch don't always have a gun and those who don't usually have a clear shot. And there are those who say that killing one would be more like murder! It opens questions about morality! Also for the records of one having been shot there are bears that have enough bulk that they have been able to make a fair distance even when mortally wounded meaning a dead sasquatch could be fair away by the time you shot it!" Rick went silent for three minutes. "And there are odd reports."

"What do you mean, grandpa?" asked Niall.

"In 1974, I was present for the shooting of a Sasquatch. When shot there was a sudden flash of light and a loud bang."

"What happened?" asked Randy.

"The creature vanished." Stated Rick. "We will go more into detail about that another time."


	5. The Actual Sasquatch

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 **The Actual Sasquatch**

Rick was once more recording his memoirs and one more his grandson Niall and his friends Randy and Theresa were there. If Rick's vision allowed him to see more than just a blur he would see that 4'1 blob of pink with red hair was Niall.

Niall was dressed completely in pink. A pink dress shirt, a pink vest, a pink blazer, a pink bow tie a pink Alice band with pink ribbons pretty much all pink. Niall was thin and longhaired as well. He kept his hair in a ponytail and three braids: two short ones that started in front of his ears and reached his shoulders and a long one that started under the ponytail and went down to his elbows. The bands that held the braids together near the bottom were pink as well. He had long eyelashes that he darkened and thickened with mascara, feminine eyes, a pretty face and long fingernails. As he was of poor health and often ill Niall wore a white medical mask over his mouth. Rick didn't particularly care what his grandson wore. Randy and Theresa didn't care either. In fact the only person who really got worked up about how Niall looked was Howard Weinerman. The medical mask Howard was fine with, everything else he wasn't. Thankfully, Howard was not there otherwise he'd be glaring at Niall an awful lot. Niall's voice even sounded feminine causing Howard to wish Niall had never started speaking.

Rick continued with his memoirs, covering a great deal of information until he finally reached something fantastic. "There are reports of Sasquatch-like creatures that behave in a non-Sasquatch-like manner. The Fouke Monster case is a famous one and has been covered in the movie… That movie about the Fouke Monster that completely omits my presence at the events…"

"The Legend of Boggy Creek?" asked Randy.

"Yes, Randall, that is the one." Replied Rick.

"Love that movie!" exclaimed Randy.

"Can't say I'm too fond of it." Commented Rick. "In 1973, a UFO looking like a large, red, glowing ball landed in a farmer's field. Some Sasquatch-like beings came out of it, a younger friend of mine Stephen shot one of them and it didn't even harm the creature."

"Alien Sasquatches?" asked Theresa in shock.

"Tell us more, grandpa!" begged Niall. His voice in addition to be feminine sounded like he was three years younger. He also looked three years younger than he actually was.

"I will do just that, Niall." Said Rick. "Now we cross into the paranormal side of things." And indeed they did.


	6. The Yeti

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 **The Yeti**

As Rick set up his recording equipment, he listened to his grandson Niall speak. Niall had recently confessed his preference for girl's clothes. Expecting his grandfather to have been outraged at it, he was instead quite accepting of it.

"In my seventy-one years of life, Niall, I've encountered things far too strange for a boy preferring girl's clothes to count as strange." Stated Rick. "Now take a seat, lad, and you can listen to your granddad record his memoirs." Niall sat down on a nearby chair. "Honestly, being blind is one of the great curses. To see how you would look would be nice instead of seeing a blur." Rick began recording and held the microphone up to his mouth. "The Yeti, a creature shown in everything from horror to Christmas specials. I have encountered such a creature. The Yeti or Abominable Snowman hit the news in 1951. I was ten years old. Eric Shipton came back from an expedition to the Himalayas with pictures taken from those far off mountains. The pictures showed a series of footprints running hundreds of yards across the snow. The pictures dominated Brit news for days and spread across the globe. The public was taken by surprise. Mountaineers and old India cowboys on the other hand were not! They had been hearing stories of such creatures for centuries! The only surprise was someone taking a picture of footprints. The first non-local to hear the stories was B. H. Hodgson in 1825. His porters saw something that from the description he presumed to be an orangutan. Then in 1889, L. A. Waddell found tracks on a mapping expedition. In 1920, William Knight is believed to have seen what was an unfortunate individual driven from their family and village to live a solitary existence in the wilderness. Ten years later, Mary MacDonald when she heard a strange call like that of a seagull but much louder and ending in a throaty roar. That is all for today."


	7. The Maricoxi

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 **The Maricoxi**

Rick was beginning to set up his equipment for another recording of his memoirs. Sitting in his living room, he heard the door open and from the footsteps he concluded it was Mort.

"Rick, can I borrow your encyclopedia?" asked Mort.

"Why do you need it?" asked Rick.

"To settle an argument with my neighbor…" stated Mort.

"You are aware that it is in brail, aren't you?"

Mort went quiet. He went quiet for a full three minutes. "Can I listen to you record your memoirs?"

"Sure, why not?" asked Rick rhetorically. He then began recording. "In recent twelvemonths the appellation 'Maricoxi' has become a blanket appellation for whichever of the cryptid primates that are rumored to inhabit South America, especially in the cloudburst greenwoods and wilderness of the boiling areas. Verily, divers primate cryptids are said to inhabit the continent, going by such appellations as Aluxes, Goazies, Aigypans, Vasitris, Matuyus, Curupiras, Didi, Mono Grande and Mapinguary. Anyhow, whether or not every appellation designates a discrete cryptid is ambiguous. Some or all of the appellations might denote the same animal."

"Ten names for the same thing?" asked Mort, perplexed.

"Why not? If a man such as Akhenaten could have as many as six names then why can't an animal have as many as ten?" Rick answer in the form of a question was logical. Such things did happen. " The Maricoxi are, or were, assumed to be an exceeding barbarian band of hominids inhabiting the Mato Grosso. This is a broad upland area of southern Brazil and northern Paraguay that is distinguished by greenwood and compact bushes of a viciously braided brush: the 'mato' of the belt's appellation. The belt covers about five hundred thousand square miles and whilst the marge have been cleared in recent twelvemonths for soya bean agribusiness and bulls ranching, much of the central keeps immaculate.

"That is incredible." Commented Mort.

Rick nodded and continued. "It was more godforsaken when in 1914 Colonel Percy Fawcett pushed into the belt with two English associates and a humble band of local carriers. Fawcett had been born in 1867 and after an acclaimed calling in the British host he was appointed by the Bolivian administration to inspect and behold its more godforsaken areas."


	8. Asian Barbaric Humans

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 **Asian Barbaric Humans**

Rick was once more setting up his equipment. When Heidi entered the house, he could tell from her footsteps, the first thing Rick asked was: "Did Ken forget his portable charger again?"

Heidi could only stare as she realized what such a question implied. "A-Again?"

Rick gave a sigh. "Kitchen drawer on the right side, third drawer down." As he heard Heidi walk to the kitchen, Rick then began recording his memoirs. "There have been hundreds of accounts coming out of Central Asia about an animal that is neither altogether being nor alone beast. It goes by divers appellations, depending on the argot of the beings who meet it. Among the divers idiom appellations for this barbaric human are Abnuaaya, Barmanu, Bekk-Bok, Biabin-Guli, Hul-Biavan, Guli-Avan, Golub-Yavan, Kaptar, Ksy Gyik, Mirygdy, Mulen and Voita. For the analysis of this animal has moved out of fables and into biology, a more acknowledged accepted appellation has been demanded to cut through the chaos. Those analyzing accounts from China tend to call the animal the Yeren, whilst those looking at accounts from Mongolia and what used to be the Soviet Union call it Almas, or intermittently Almasti."

Hearing from the kitchen, Heidi muttered "Almas sounds so much better."

"The complications of analyzing the Almas, or the Yeren, have been aggravated by the inaccessibility of the loci it is said to inhabit. The largest of these are the forested cordillera and uplands around the Tien Shan alp chain that spans the borderlines of Russia, Mongolia and China. Accounts also come from the cordillera of China's Hubei Province as well as the more godforsaken areas of the Caucasus Mountains. All of these belts are far away, toilsome to reach and wanting acceptable avenues. As if that were not enough, they lie in duchies that for most of the twentieth century were chary of aliens, chiefly those wanting to peregrinate to godforsaken belts for concealed aims."

Finding the charger, Heidi closed the drawer. "Sounds difficult."

"It is oft the circumstances that some administrations do not accord admission to aliens. The catches that these administrations can beget cryptozoology researchers can be ascertained by the days of Badzare Baradyine, an affluential Mongolian zoologist."


	9. Orang Pendek

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 **Orang Pendek**

"Somewhere in the alpine greenwoods of southern Sumatra is said to dwell the Orang Pendek: the 'short man.'" The front door sprang open and in came running Niall. Rick sighed and paused his recorder. He may have been blind but he could tell from the footsteps who it was. "Hello, Niall." Rick turned his head in Niall's direction. His eyesight having been reduced to only being able to see blurs resulted in him seeing a white blur that was Niall's torso with a navy blue, white and gray blur on the white blur. "What are you wearing?"

"My sailor fuku." Stated Niall, his voice did indeed sound feminine.

"I thought it was pink."

"That one shrunk in the wash."

"Oh, so you wore it in public?"

"No. I was going to. So I washed it. Then it shrunk. So I had to go to my secondary sailor fuku."

Rick shook his head. "If your secondary one is in the actual colors of the Japanese school girl uniform then I think you may need to rethink what you call primary and secondary. Didn't you used to be a bit taller?"

"I've stopped wearing lifts, Grandpa." Stated Niall.

"And just how tall are you exactly?" Niall muttered a response. "What was that?"

"Four foot nine."

"That is indeed short." Rick kept his head in Niall's direction. "Did you get a haircut?"

"Yes, the braids, long hair and ponytail were too much. Medium length hair is more manageable." Niall swallowed nervously. "I've also given up mascara. Too much poking myself in the eye while doing my lashes."

"Is notice you are wearing the pink Alice band with the ribbons and keeping your medical mask on…" The pink blur on Niall's head and the white blur over his mouth were all too noticeable to Rick.

"Of course, I can't risk being sick and I like my Alice band."

Rick took notice of the navy blue blur going down to Niall's knees. His pleated skirt much less ludicrous than the old pink one… He then moved his head downward and saw pair of navy blurs and a pair of black blurs. His navy socks and black penny loafers.

"So you went out like that in public?" asked Rick.

"No, not really." Replied Niall. "I cut my hair myself and we don't really live that far apart so its not like me coming here is very much going out in public."

"What do your parents think of you dressing like this?"

"They just want me to make sure I'm healthy. I'm not really going to be giving up boys clothes, so its not like I'm going to be getting rid of my red blazer or any of my other clothes."

"That's good." Said Rick. "Now may I continue with my memoirs?"

"Oh, sure." Replied Niall. "How far are you through this recording?"

"Barely started! Now please take a seat and keep quiet, this is a long one." Rick heard Niall take a seat and thus did Rick resume his memoirs. "The local villagers of the more densely forested areas appear to take the animal for granted, as much as they do the tiger and the rhinoceros, which also roam these bushes. When informed that Western scientists do not identify the Orang Pendek as an actual animal, the natives are quick to belittle."


	10. The Australian Yowie

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 **The Australian Yowie**

"Some Aborigines created wee churchgoing associations that practiced acts that are now forgotten, some of them involving barbarity on their fellow beings… All these might adjudge for hirsute Aborigines acting in an abnormal approach. None of this disproves the existence of the Yowie. The old stories and modern sightings may be based on the existence of a real ape-like beast… Or it might just be a giant wombat."

Finishing the recording, Rick ran his hand through his hair. He then grabbed his cane and walked to his room. Taking the life masks of some friends of his, now long gone, he felt them with his hand. Seventy-one… It was a miracle he lasted so long.

Feeling the life mask of William Hawkins, Rick frowned. Why did he even have this life mask? The man had turned traitor more times than anyone could count and still Rick considered him a friend. Perhaps it was just that old saying… "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

He then felt the life masks of couple James Horne and his wife Tsai Kerri-Trimmer. They were gone… They had been good friends they had been Ulrica's godparents. Why… Why was he the only one still alive?

He had never smoked, never touched alcohol, he took supplements, ate healthily… He guessed it was things like that which had caused him to be healthy yet even then there were things that could not be accounted for by making healthy life choices. Car crashes happened and Rick's lifetime of adventures had been the kind that it was a miracle he even made it to seventy-one.

"Hey, dad?"

"Yes, Ken?" Rick turned his head to his son's direction. "What is it?"

"Me and Heidi were wondering what this recording has been about… Are you… Dying? Is your memory going?" Ken did sound concerned and Rick was grateful for that.

"I am not dying, my memory is not going but I am an older dad. I'm not going to be around forever, son. I know you can't read brail so I wanted these memoirs to be in a way you can understand them… Even before I was blind my handwriting was poor."

"I'm relieved to hear that." Said Ken. "I love you and I don't want to lose you."

 **The End**


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